Ask Holly: My husband watches Peppa Pig in the dark

Dear Holly,

I’m sure it is all perfectly innocent, but I can’t help but worry about my husband’s behaviour. He stays up after I have gone to bed and watches The Nick Jr. channel in the dark, especially the episode of Peppa where Mummy Pig gets dressed up all special for her birthday. He also comes home in the middle of the night stinking of Frazzles, and the other day I found an empty packet of farmyard-themed confectionary from Marks and Spencer in his jacket. Should I be worried?

Samantha

Chipping Norton

Dear Samantha,

When I grow up I am going to be like Mummy Pig. She’s multi-talented and knowledgable about computers and never gets cross, even though her kids are whining spoiled brats who frequently come home heavily soiled by jumping in muddy puddles, and her husband is an overweight fool with a superiority complex. I suspect she self-medicates with quite a lot of wine in the evenings.

Hope that helps,

Holly