Ask Holly: They won’t be laughing when these tiny paws press the nuclear button

Dear Holly,

I’ve got smaller than average hands and people think this is funny. However, they won’t be laughing when they realise these tiny paws are more than capable of pressing the nuclear button. Meantimes, should I start a rumour that Hilary Clinton only has one testicle to deflect attention from my minuscule manhood, I mean hands?


United States of A

Dear Donald,

Sometimes small hands come in useful, for example when you are trying to pick the lock of the staffroom door for a dare and take a selfie whilst putting bogies in the Nescafé. Not that I have any direct experience of this.

Hope that helps,