Every time I give a lady one of my ‘special cuddles’, she ends up with a baby

Dear Holly,

It seems that every time I give a lady one of my ‘special cuddles’, she ends up with a baby in her tummy which is confusing to me: I thought babies were delivered by the stork. What am I missing here?

Hugh Grant

London

holly2111111Dear Hugh,

We haven’t done that bit in school yet, I’m afraid, but if you want to know anything like that just go and ask Phillip Holliday, the big weirdo from Mr Morley’s class. Rumour has it, Philip is actually 16 years old but he has been held back in primary school for several years because he’s really thick and also Mr Morley needs someone strong to help carry all the sports equipment for PE. Phillip may be utterly useless at long division but he’ll tell you all about where babies come from if you give him a Wagon Wheel.

Hope that helps!

Holly