I could burst into a vomit-inducing Disney song at any moment

Dear Holly,

I’ve been a bit naughty and experimented with some recreational substances. Although I’ve now sorted myself out and ‘got clean’, I worry that people will think I’m just a bit of a tit without half a gram of ching shoved up my nose – unless I’m off my tits I’m liable to burst into a vomit-inducing Disney song at any given moment. 

Zac Efron 


holly2111111Dear Zac,

We’ve all been there. You start off with a few Ribenas before Brownies and next thing you know, you’ve eaten a whole packet of wine gums and most of a Wham bar, and you’re talking absolute nonsense and offering to give Brown Owl a head massage. You might think you’re the life and soul of the party by attempting a vigorous and ironic breakdance to Taps but if you want to be allowed back next time, you’d better get your act together, pronto.

Hope that helps!