How can I sound convincingly sorry?

Dear Holly,

Elton John was right: sorry really is the hardest word. I need some advice on how to make my apologies sound less terse and more convincing in future without actually meaning it… can you help?

Maria Miller

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holly2111111Dear Maria,

Your best weapon in this situation is the ability to weep convincingly and dramatically. What heartless monster could continue to be angry at you as a few well-placed, lonely tears trickle down your sad face? If you find it hard to pretend, just think about something really, really upsetting – like Harry Styles being killed by firing squad, or Justin Bieber revealing he really was a lesbian all along.

Hope that helps!