I went to a Thatcher death party and now I feel bad

Dear Holly,

The other night I went to a Margaret Thatcher death celebration party and it was loads of fun.  However, I can’t help feeling slightly guilty about the whole thing. What can I do to make myself feel better?

Glenda Jackson


Dear Glenda,

Apparently, if you are under thirty you can’t begin to understand about Margaret Thatcher, but actually I know loads about her and I’m only 10 and three-quarters. For example, I know that she invented the Poll Tax, the bouffant and Seasonal Affective Disorder, and went through an extended and bitter custody battle with Dustin Hoffman over their son Billy. Had she not been a politician, Maggie would have made a marvellous headmistress due to her satanic demeanour. She would always be confiscating people’s marbles and football stickers, closing down the tuck shop and generally making children cry. Who cares how many poor kids go without a Milky Way as long as she comes top in the school league tables and the staffroom toilet gets a Dyson Airblade?

However, Margaret Thatcher wasn’t all bad: even though she was awarded full custody she did eventually let her son go and live with Dustin when she realised he made better toast than she ever could.

Hope that helps!