No matter what I do, everybody hates me

Dear Holly,

I’m really fed up with being unpopular. No matter what I do, everybody hates me. How do I get people to like me and think I’m cool?

Nick Clegg


holly2111111Dear Nick,

Luckily it’s the start of autumn term; you’ve got the chance of a fresh start. You got in with a bad crowd in the past, and unfortunately they dragged you down, so this year, try to find a new set of friends who won’t bully you into doing daft things that make you look like a complete spanner. Think of the new academic year as a kind of rebranding process: ditch the old Hannah Montana pencil case and get yourself a smutty Miley Cyrus one instead. Most importantly, if you’re going to use bribery to gain respect, be sensible. Don’t give away rubbish stuff like free school dinners (you might as well be handing out free dog turds). You’re much more likely to win friends by inviting people round to play Grand Theft Auto V on your dad’s Playstation while he’s gone to B & Q.

Hope that helps!