Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
Every time I go to my local supermarket they ask me the same questions: do I need a hand to pack? Do I have a club card? Am I collecting vouchers for schools? No. The answer is no, as it has been for several years. Will my statutory consumer rights be affected if I stab a checkout lady in the face?

Dear Sarah,
It sounds like you need to de-stress and relax. On a Friday my class does yoga because our teacher, Mrs Dodkins, says our little minds need to wind-down after a busy week. None of us want to do it though, because it’s very boring and you always get an eye full of Mrs Dodkin’s saggy old lady lumps.They must be about 7 foot long and 1 inch wide when she’s bending over, and they’re all brown and wrinkly. Even worse, they slap together and make a soft flapping sound when she stretches out which gives us all the dry heave. You just have to hope and pray you don’t get the space right at the front because you can see it all in close-up, and if she’s had an extra cup of coffee at break time you’re right in the firing line if she lets one rip when she’s doing ‘The Cat’.
Hope that helps!