Are you a cat?

In the busy modern world, it’s increasingly easy to be a cat without even realising. But being a cat can change your life and mean you don’t have to have a job or bank account.

Are you a cat? Take our test to find out.

Q1 – What do you do at bedtime?

A – After a hard day at work, you wind down with a glass of wine and an episode of a new box set that you don’t really like but you’re three episodes in now so you might as well finish it.

B – You sleep wherever and whenever you want. On sheds, in clothes baskets, on your neighbour’s bed.

Q2 – What food do you like to eat?

A – Chicken korma, naan bread and a small bag of salad.

C – Mice, rats or whatever the fuck is in cat food.

Q3 – Are you a cat?

A – No, and I’m at work so can we please stop wasting time on this.

B – Meow.

If you answered mostly As then you’re a fully-fledged human being.

If you answered mostly Bs then it’s unlikely you’ll be able to read this as you’re a cat – you should probably go off and fight some other cats for no reason.