ARE you a social media ‘influencer’ with the power to make consumers spend? Take this test to find out.
Have you created shareable visual content?
A) My GIF of a ferret jumping into a welly with the words ‘not today mate’ has been shared by 20 million people.
B) I put on a cracking fireworks show for the cub scouts’ last Guy Fawkes.
Do you live stream?
A) Yes, it’s a great way to interact with my followers who otherwise have very little hope in their lives.
B) No, and I would never take part in any urine-based sex act.
Do you hang out online?
A) I am digitally omnipresent my whole existence will be on Facebook Live soon like a creepy science fiction film.
B) I bung most of it in the tumble dryer but my best shirts I’ll drape on the radiator.
What is a micro-celebrity?
A) An irritating wannabe TV presenter who is too shit for The One Show but somehow has ten million followers from baking cakes with a novelty hat on.
B) Any celebrity around five feet in height.
Mostly As Congratulations, you’re a powerful online influencer in the same way a potent French cheese influences the smell of a fridge.
Mostly B’s You are irrelevant. Or is that part of your brand? If so that is very smart and good luck with that book about living ‘off grid’.