Are you in a sham marriage or is your marriage a sham?
SHAM marriages are usually done to secure citizenship in the UK and are illegal, while marriages that are just a bit of a sham are a lot more commonplace and somehow not illegal. But which one are you in?
Did you invite anyone to your wedding? A. No. Because all my friends live in the far away land that I grew up in. B. No. Because even though all my mates live locally, they all, rightly, hate my partner.
Who was the best man? A. The bloke who says he owns me. B. The bloke who owns the company I work for.
Did you have a free bar? A. Indeed, the bar was freer than I am. B. Indeed. If only so the large amounts of free liquor could take my mind off the huge mistake I'd just made.
Mostly As: Yes, it's a sham marriage but what marriage isn't?
Mostly B's: Yes, again. Your marriage is sham but at least you won't have to worry about the Home Office coming after you.