Friday, 6th December 2019

Could Thatcher's ghost sort out Brexit?

MARGARET Thatcher is now long dead but what if her spirit was contacted during a séance on a wet weekday afternoon in a parlour in Surrey?

The Irish Back Stop Seance organsier, Emma Bradford said: “We believe that Maggie's spirit moved the glass on the table to signify that The Irish Back Stop problem could be solved by invading a far away country and destabilising the industries and infrastructure of many major towns.”

Freedom of Movement Local séance attendee, Mary Fisher said: “We contacted her spirit and she told us that we could solve freedom of movement by simply acknowledging that society doesn't exist and thus, why would you need to move around anywhere? Which makes sense if you're mad and dead.”

The Customs Union Seance sceptic, Donna Sheridan added: “Maggie's spirit apparently thinks we could solve that by saying 'Now then, now then, Now then, Now then'.

“You can see why I'm sceptical.”