HI, I’m Esther McVey, the former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, and while you’re getting your head round that, I’m going to give you a quick rundown on how to talk about things confidently despite not having the faintest idea what you’re on about…
‘Facts’ don’t matter
Just claim things. The sky is green, pigs are chickens and arrangements have already been sorted for a ‘no-deal Brexit’ when they absolutely have not. After all, who’s going to pull you up on something like that?
Ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble
As long as you keep talking (and under no circumstances let them interrupt you with ‘facts’) then you might just pass for someone who knows what the hell they’re talking about.
Use ‘Compassionate’ and ‘Conservative’ in the same sentence
I say again, who is going to pull you up on such unrepentant bullshit?
But what if they do interrupt you with facts?
Simply ignore them and keep talking. No-one is going to think that you are so far out of your depth you must have won your political career in a raffle.
Always be smiling
As long as you keep smiling you can never truly look like an idiot.