Fox News's Broadchurch refresher

FOX News’s recap of what happened in season one of Broadchurch.

Plot

The body of a local school kid is found on the beach and it rocks a small mountain community, where everyone has something to hide. Soon it becomes obvious that no one is who they seem, and are in fact ghosts who don’t know they’re dead. In his breakthrough leading role, David Tenant is pursued by members of the clergy, who have been dispatched on a mysterious mission by an ancient branch of the Knights Templar and will stop at nothing to prevent him getting his hands on the scrolls.

A smorgasbord of fascinating regional accents keep you open-mouthed from the word go and you will literally not know which region to trust. Watch out for a cameo appearance by British pop sensation, Adele – who also provides a powerfully emotional soundtrack.

Cast

Acting talent from all your favourite British shows, including dad from Downton Abbey as the ruthless newspaper editor and Ross’s English fiancée from Friends as the mom. A special appearance from Pauline Quirke as the Log Lady.

David Tenant is the angry Scotch cop with a chequered past. He’s been living with a curse ever since pricking his finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and contracting hepatitis. On top of that, he must complete all his cop duties while transporting a thimble of unstable uranium in his sporran, which makes for some tense scenes. It’s gritty viewing, and at several points we see him wince, clutch his chest and lean on a wall for support. It’s okay though: he doesn’t die.

You haven’t seen anyone more depressed than Olivia Coleman, who gives the performance of her career. An onset buddy confided in Fox News that Coleman was actually fitted with a tiny motor which assisted her diaphragm during filming, culminating in a harrowing final scene where she regurgitates it into a wastepaper basket as Tenant holds back her hair.  This makes her visibly upset.

Production

The camera work is stunning, with some excellent beach shots and some strategic blurring filter effects, which signal to us that Tenant’s astigmatism is playing up and we should be fearful for his health. Mercifully, it comes back into focus and lets us know he’s back on track and fighting crime again.

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Couple to lie about not having met on internet

A COUPLE have vowed to lie about how they met after getting together at a social gathering.

Tom Booker met his new girlfriend Emma Bradford at a mutual friend’s party, without the aid of technology.

He said: “I can see why people think it’s weird. But we just kind of got on with each other.

“We’ll just say we met on an exclusive dating site for left-hand people.”

Booker added: “I didn’t see what her top 5 films were or what qualities she thought she had or that she looked for in other people.

“It’s unorthodox but I’m looking forward to finding that out as we go along.

Booker’s friend, Stephen Malley said: “I don’t like to judge but he hasn’t even googled her. I bet she’s done a murder in America or something.

“And you don’t know what else she’s hiding, probably her favourite book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”