IN the confusing modern world it can be hard to tell if Britain has already left the European Union, so why not take our quick test to find out.
Can you go and work in Europe?
A. Of course I can.
B. Of course I can. Cash in hand, on the side, with no rights and as long as I can get over that massive dry stone wall we built around Dover.
How much does a nice bottle of Italian wine cost?
A. You can get a really nice bottle for less than a tenner I think.
B. Depends what you are paying with – blood, sexual favours or Manchego cheese are all options.
Are you still protected by the Human Rights Act?
A. Of course I am.
B. As soon as Brexit happened, Prime Minister Johnson printed it off and shoved it down the collar of his shirt as a napkin, pouring the last of the tariff-free champagne down his throat while laughing maniacally.
Mostly As – Brexit has not happened. Or you may be in some Brexit-themed version of The Matrix where Jacob Rees-Mogg presides over a vast chamber full of cryogenically frozen Remainers and you have chosen to live in the illusion.
Mostly Bs – Several months after you stopped reading the news, Brexit quietly happened. Also they have captured a live yeti and confirmed that dark matter is made of angels. And there’s a public traitor-hanging in Hyde Park tonight, if you fancy it.