Have you got hay fever or are you just a miserable bastard?
ARE you constantly complaining?
Take our test to find out if you have hay fever or are just a miserable sod.
1. Your nose won’t stop running, what do you do?
A. Plug it with toilet paper and crack on, ignoring the fact you look like a walrus with bog roll tusks.
B. Complain endlessly that you feel as if you are suffering the effects of a heavy weekend but without actually doing any lovely cocaine.
2. Your eyes start watering non-stop – do you:
A. Enjoy pretending to be Forest Gump at Jenny’s grave.
B. Admit you are still crying over accidentally leaving a tenner tip at Pizza Express when you only meant to leave a fiver because the dough balls were cold.
3. The back of your throat starts itching, what do you do?
A. Delight in making a weird wookiee-like snorking sound.
B. Bitch about how fucking easy bees have it. All they do is fly around going into lovely flowers and picking up pollen like some cute, fuzzy DHL driver with a sword for an arse. And they have the audacity to call themselves ‘workers,’ they couldn’t do five minutes in your job.
Mostly As – You have hay fever but are making the best of this tiresome affliction, like a good soldier.
Mostly Bs – You are a miserable bastard. And if you think it’s bad now, just wait until the winter.