Dear Holly, I am a unmarried lady in the twilight of my life, and haven’t had the urge to become biblically acquainted with a person of the opposite sex for nigh on 30 years. Instead, I spend my evenings sipping a Cup-a-Soup in the comfort of my housecoat and slippers and stroking my beloved pussy. However, I have recently become friends with a charming elderly gentleman who is, like me, fond of a nice cup of tea, so I am starting think that perhaps I should invite him over for some intercourse. The only problem is that after so many years of abstinence I’m worried that my lady area will have dried up. Should I use some lard or is there an ointment from the chemist?Betty,Norwich

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