Subscribe

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL) This week, why not amuse yourself by thinking up lyrics for the four drumbeats in the Crimewatch theme tune. Starting suggestion – ‘tittybumfuck’.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Prehistoric baby names trend sees 'Trog' and Gor' make a comeback

RETRO baby names from the early 20th century have been exhausted, creating a trend for prehistoric-sounding options like Ung-Gaah.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›