How to get ‘the lads’ to join Extinction Rebellion by telling them it’s a stag do  

YOU might be concerned about the climate crisis but your comfortable, SUV driving, cocaine sniffing mates couldn’t give two sh*ts. Turn them into activists by pretending it’s a stag do.

Handout Extinction Rebellion t-shirts explaining that the logo is actually the new steering wheel for a concept ‘fanny magnet’ Jaguar XR.

The XR flags they’re holding are for a game of human golf where they have to stand around London whilst the stag tries to chip the ball into their anus.

Tell them they’re all going to need adult nappies not because they’re handcuffing themselves to a boat in Oxford Street but because first one to use an actual toilet has to pay for all the lap dances.

Once they’ve all super-glued their arses to Whitehall ‘for the banter’ tell them the police liaison officer is a stripper and they can only get to the ‘champagne room’ by slipping a tenner into her high vis vest.

Successfully in the champagne room/ prison cell them what absolute legends they all are for getting arrested but they do actually owe £400 quid each for costs.