How to go easy on people who wear hats

WINTER headgear makes most people look like a complete twat, so it can be hard not to make assumptions. Here’s how to avoid snap-judgements:

There are hundreds of ways to balance a beret on your head and even the French are yet to find one that does not look godawful. Give this poser some credit for taking on an impossible challenge.

Pompom Beanie
This arse has chosen to look like a weird overgrown child. But remember, the brighter and bigger the pompom, the more they are secretly dying inside. Go easy on them.

Traditional thinking tells us that fedora equals wanker. But maybe this tit is not trying to be Don Draper. Maybe they are more down-to-earth. Like Michael Jackson. Or Freddy Kruger.

Flat cap
The hat of choice amongst men who are mourning their lost hair. Nobody deserves more sympathy, so try to set your judgement aside.

Hat with animal ears
A hat with bear/cat/rabbit ears on top? There can be no excuse for this. Unless the person wearing it happens to be a dog. That would be unspeakably cute, unlike this bastard.


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Woman referring to dogs as boyfriend and girlfriend

A WOMAN is behaving as if two dogs are in a relationship, it has emerged.

Nikki Hollis is referring to her neighbour’s labrador as the ‘boyfriend’ of her spaniel to the revulsion of reasonable adults within earshot

Hollis said: “It’s so sweet the way they just love each other. Tammy can’t wait to see her little boyfriend whenever they’re apart.

Hollis’ partner Wayne Hayes said: “Nikki is, in almost every way, a normal, functioning adult. But for some reason she has a blind spot when it comes to pretending pets have developed a loving relationship.

“I can tell you now that next door’s dog doesn’t give a sh*t about ours.”

Hollis has attributed other human traits to her dog, including assigning it a favourite television show.