Friday, 6th December 2019

Quiz: Are you a functional alcoholic, or just 'fun'?

Are you the life and soul of the party, or starting to feel like death? Take our totally scientific quiz to assess your relationship with alcohol.

Lunchtime pint? A) Nah, best not. B) Oh, go on then. C) We’re drinking shots, you f*cking pussy.

Have you done any of the following in the past month: danced on a table, been sick in a bush, drunkenly called your ex?  A) Good lord, no. B) I was merely checking in on my ex after a worrying Facebook status. C) Hat trick.

What’s your relationship to Berocca? A) Is he the prime minister of Spain? B) From time to time. C) My piss looks like Irn Bru.

When did you last wake up hating yourself? A) Never. I am bursting with self esteem. B) After drunkenly banging my ex. C) About 4 minutes ago.

Mostly As: You’re not a functional alcoholic but you’re not fun either. Time to get pissed and vomit on a close friend.

Mostly Bs: You are ‘fun’.

Mostly Cs: You knew the answer before you opened this. Well played.