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Drugs report delivered as dance track

GOVERNMENT experts have delivered a report on drugs policy as a rap over a housey beat.

The report/club track by the UK Drug Policy Commission, entitled Decriminalise (It Ain’t No Worse Than A Burger), is produced by 90s dance act Utah Saints.

On the track, which compresses six years’ research into one piece of 12-inch vinyl, commission chair Dame Ruth Runciman raps: “160,000 getting warnings for puff / Mr Lawman, you’re being too tuff.

“Free up the herb, kick criminal sanctions to the kerb.

“Replace them with mandatory attendance of a drug awareness session / That’s right yo.”

Fellow UKDPC member Professor John Strang then chips in: “Ah yeah.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah yeah.”

Drugs counsellor Nikki Hollis said: “I think the rap-based report makes some well-considered points, although it somewhat undermines its legitimacy with a pointless guest vocal from Lindy Layton of Beats International fame.

“And you can’t really say Dame Runciman has got mad flow. In fact, she’s pretty shit.”