WHICH sweet frozen treat will most effectively turn your little angel into the maniacal spawn of Satan? Find out with this simple test.
How filling do you want the ice cream to be?
A. Something light because we’re going out to dinner and we’re keen for our child to run around the restaurant punching the wall and trying to climb in the fish tank.
B. Something filling, I forgot to do a shop so this has to double up as a full meal.
C. This is a bedtime snack, so ideally it should keep them full until morning.
What kind of sticky mess would you like your kid to make?
A. Syrupy, gloopy and brightly coloured.
B. Full on ice cream moustache with some bonus chocolatey hand prints.
C. It would make a nice change if the vomit I have to clean up is bright and interesting.
Are you the one looking after your kid later?
A. Yes, on my own.
B. Yes, but I have help.
C. Dear God, no, this is the nanny’s problem.
Mostly As: Calippo – also known as a ‘meltdown stick’ it has two different kinds of sugary syrup, in case one wasn’t enough to ruin your nice day out in the park.
Mostly Bs: Cornetto – work your kid up into a hysterical mess with this sickly cone of mayhem.
Mostly Cs: Fab – each one of those hundreds and thousands contains the recommended daily sugar intake of a bison.