ROBERT De Niro, who for many years was considered one of the greatest actors of all time now looks set to appear in a commercial for bread makers Warburtons.
But which of his iconic lines will he be pissing all over so he can get some more money, which we’d be fucking amazed if he actually needed?
Taxi Driver
De Niro buys a loaf in a supermarket and takes it home. He puts the loaf on the side before stopping to look at it and says, ‘Are you talkin’ to bread? Well, I don’t see any other bread here. Are you talkin’ to bread?’ De Niro will then find Harvey Keitel, who instead of playing a pimp will be selling car insurance, or some shit, and instead of shooting him with a big gun, De Niro will slap him round the head with a baguette.
Heat
De Niro will be sat in a greasy spoon cafe when a waitress will put a cup of tea and some toast down in front of him. De Niro will then proceed to tell her that he ‘never lets himself get attached to any loaf of bread that he’s not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat once he feels the heat of a freshly baked loaf round the corner’.
Raging Bull
De Niro will be sat at a kitchen table across from someone who looks like Joe Pesci only it won’t be Joe Pesci because how likely are you to see Joe Pesci in a bread advert? De Niro will then proceed to ask the man, ‘Did you fuck my loaf? Did you? Did you fuck my loaf?’.
The Untouchables
As a group of Warburtons chief executives sit round a table, De Niro will walk behind one of them and say ‘Butter Up’ before then proceeding to beat the man senseless about the head with some sort of massive new Warburtons bap.
