End of January brought forward to tonight, drinkers confirm

PARTICIPANTS in Dry January have confirmed that the end of the month has been moved forward from next week until 5pm this evening. 

The technicality that there is an unspecified number of days to go is largely considered irrelevant because time passes faster once you can have a drink anyway.

Helen Archer, from Stevenage, said: “Glad that’s over.

“It was a long month, I don’t mind saying, but nonetheless I’m glad I did it. It’s important to prove you can do these thing. Willpower.

“But a month’s a month, that’s the deal.

“Probably I won’t go crazy. I might have one, but not more. I don’t have to. It’s just I could if I want and nobody can stop me, because that’s over now.”

Archer added: “I could call in at Bargain Booze on the way home. If nobody’s going the pub.”