Even pub not sure why it’s playing music everyone bloody hates

A PUB has made the strange decision to play extremely crap music at a deafening volume despite it being loathed by everyone including the staff.

Every night without fail, bar staff at the Green Man in Nuneaton put on mixes of mediocre house or bad 80s compilations featuring Level 42 which they would never listen to at home.

Meanwhile customers complain bitterly as they struggle to make themselves heard above the nondescript racket, but equally mysteriously come back every night.

Landlord Tom Logan said: “It’d be unthinkable not to crank up the music to nightclub levels at 6.30, even though it would be incredibly strange if someone ever got up and danced to it.

“No one ever complains so it must be pleasing somebody, though I’m not sure who. Not me. I fucking hate it. Right, time to put on Megabeatz Euro House, Volume 17.

“I suppose I could turn the music off but that feels wrong for some unfathomable reason. It’s just one of life’s unsolvable mysteries, like what’s at the end of space?”

Regular Roy Hobbs said: “Oddly I’m not a huge fan of migraine-inducing, conversation-killing, total-shite high-decibel muzak. I don’t like to complain, though. I’m British.”

Hobbs then had a conversation he could hear about 15 per cent of due to a Vengaboys track that was widely loathed at the height of its popularity in 1998.