CHRISTMAS is full of fun activities, but also many opportunities to get extremely pissed. Here are some things to turn into a gruelling nightmare with a bad hangover.
A pleasant walk
Turn a stroll into an exhausting route march by drinking way too much the night before. Your system should be so knackered that every step feels like you’re wearing diving boots, and you’ll be ridiculously paranoid about passing out and ending up in A&E at this most magical time of year.
Christmas dinner
A slap-up roast dinner with all the trimmings is not only delicious but also the focal point of Christmas. Ruin this special event by feeling so nauseous all you can do is gingerly nibble at a boiled carrot while hoping everyone will somehow not notice your untouched food and obvious drink problem.
A harmless visit
You should be in an advanced state of paranoia, so that a visit from nice Auntie Jackie feels like the Gestapo have got some questions for you. Your addled brain should be going: “Why is she asking whether I’m dating at the moment? Has she guessed I’m a sexual failure who may die alone? And what does she MEAN by ‘How’s work?'”
Opening your presents
Normally an enjoyable moment, but not if all that wine, Baileys and whisky have left you in a state of suicidal existential depression. Yes, you may have been given a massive box of Thorntons, but everything in life is transient and one day everyone you love will be dead and rotted to dust, even the Elf on the Shelf.
A family Skype call
Surely you can handle a remote chat, even with a nasty hangover? Not if you’re horribly self-conscious about the sweat pouring off you and struggling to ride the waves of nausea which could cause you to virtually barf all over your cousin and her kids at any second.
