Sunday, 9th August 2020

Heroic woman risks life to buy essential box of wine

AN incredibly brave woman has risked catching coronavirus at the supermarket because she needed some wine.    

Emma Bradford ventured out to her local Sainsbury’s last night wearing a protective scarf, gloves and sunglasses to pick up some Pinot Grigio.

Bradford said: “It’s at times like this you find strength you never knew you had. I was terrified the entire time I was out there but I did it.

“I heard a man cough in the bread aisle and almost fainted three times from trying not to breathe, but I carried on. I can probably apply for some sort of civic award for bravery. 

“I even managed to get myself three essential grab bags of kettle crisps and a jar of essential olives.

“The problem is that post-lockdown me only stocked up on healthy food. She was naive, and believed she would get fit and healthy during the pandemic.   

“I’m a different person now. I’ve got the inner strength to go back for a box of Merlot tomorrow.”