A MAN who is pissed after drinking 10 pints in quick succession has been branded an ’embarrassing lightweight’ by his friends.
Despite only drinking over five litres of 5.4 per cent IPA within the space of a few hours, Ryan Whittaker started to feel intoxicated and was told to man up.
Fellow drinker Tom Booker said: “It’s totally normal to drink a volume of strong ale you could swim in and yet he’s starting to feel a bit out of it. I’ve never seen anyone handle their drink so badly.
“After knocking back the eighth pint he started to slur his words and developed a heightened sense of self-esteem, which is pretty f**king rich seeing as getting pissed that easily is nothing to feel smug about.”
Friend Wayne Hayes added: “At first we all thought he was winding us up. After all, who gets drunk by necking over a gallon of booze in one sitting? I do it every weekend and there’s nothing wrong with me, aside from this massive belly and permanent memory loss.”
Ryan said: “Maybe if I keep going I’ll get a second wind and metabolise these pints faster. Or perhaps I’ll go blind. Only one way to find out.”