FOLLOWING Carlsberg’s brave admission that it is probably not at all nice, other foul beers are publically confessing that they are swill.
Unpopular brands like Foster’s, Budweiser and Tennent’s are filming multi-million pound ads condemning their beer as undrinkable piss in the hope that Britons will reward them for their refreshing honesty.
A spokesman for the British Beer and Pub Association said: “There’s an amnesty on crimes against beer, and we plan to take full advantage.
“Carling’s new campaign stars Brad Pitt spitting a mouthful of their unholy brew into a gutter, and Stella Artois’s new slogan is ‘A grim chore that gets you pissed’.
“‘Hoppy’ or a ‘refined taste’ were nothing but lies. The truth is that a significant part of the production process is us drawing straws to see who has the taste the latest batch of mulch.”
Emma Bradford said: “Most beer sold in Britain tastes like backwash mixed with weedkiller.
“I’ll have a Becks. Well you don’t drink it for the taste.”