Morning airport drinking somehow consequence-free, reckon blokes

MEN believe that drinking beer at any time of day is harmless so long as it is carried out within an airport departure lounge.

Drinking four or more pints at breakfast would usually be considered worthy of some sort of intervention by family or friends, but when done at Gatwick Airport is perfectly normal and healthy.

Frequent traveller Tom Logan said: “Airports make alcohol un-alcoholic. This is the true fact that the killjoys in the medical anti-drink lobby don’t want you to know.

“Maybe it’s something they pump into airport lounges to keep the air clean, or the natural superhuman strength you develop when you know you’re about to have it very large in Spain for 10 days.

“Admittedly I collapsed after getting off a plane in Ibiza once, but the ground was probably at a slightly different angle to the UK.”

Doctor Tom Booker said: “I would normally advise blokes to drink responsibly in airports, but I’m going to Switzerland tomorrow, so fuck it.”