Sunday, 1st November 2020

'Problem' drinker actually finding it quite easy

A MAN who read a newspaper article saying the amount he drinks is a problem has confirmed that he is actually finding it to be very easy.

Tom Logan, who regularly drinks a bottle of wine or two every night, says it slips down effortlessly and makes everything seem much better.

Logan said: “Far from being a problem, it’s actually cheering me up and giving my evenings a delightfully warm and fuzzy feeling.

“It completely stops me worrying about the news and thinking about the terrifying global slip into right-wing lunacy, climate change and deadly viruses. 

“Also I drink so regularly that my hangovers have stopped being horribly unpleasant and are now just a sort of foggy cranial buffer against the harsh realities of the cold light of day.

“I think I’d have way more of a problem if I didn’t drink.”

Alcohol counsellor Donna Sheridan said: “Lockdown drinking can be a problem. But I find it all goes pretty smoothly so long as I don’t hit the vodka on a Monday.”