A MAN who woke up at 8am on Sunday in a garden littered with empty beer cans has claimed he just ‘enjoyed the lovely weather’.
Roy Hobbs, who dragged himself to the bathroom on Sunday morning to find one side of his face sunburnt and the other imprinted with the waffle-pattern of a garden chair, told colleagues that it was great to ‘just sit out and relax’.
Workmate Joe Turner said: “Roy said he ‘had a bit of a lazy one watching the sun set over the trees’ which doesn’t quite tally with sightings of him erratically pushing a trolley loaded of Stella through Tesco at 9pm.
“Also he’s wincing from insect bites, scraped shins and apparently at some point sat on a disposable barbecue. I’m not sure his story about ‘being at one with nature and that’ is entirely accurate.”
Hobbs said: “Yeah, I invited a few friends round. I’m not sure if they made it. I woke up when I tried to rub my eye with a hand still wedged in a bag of Kettle Chips.
“That’s what people mean when they say ‘enjoying the sunshine’, right? Is there another way?”