Adele cancels shows because she’s ‘f**king sick of Adele songs’

ADELE has admitted cancelling shows because her songs do her head in.

The singer cancelled two UK dates because she is utterly sick of those Adele songs that you hear in all the shops.

She said: “I looked at the set list and it was all Adele songs, sung by Adele. Being the sort of feisty woman that I am, I cannot face an evening of that tired old bollocks.

“If I have to hear Someone Like You again I’m going to claw my own arse off. Hello came on in John Lewis the other day and I had to go and scream into a throw cushion.” 

The star received widespread support from the British public, who also feel menaced by the omnipresence of her ballads about being dumped. Fans, however, expressed sadness and anger at missing the shows.

Adele added: “I love my fans, but let’s be honest, they have awful taste in music.

“They relate to me because I am just like them, except richer than a dog that shits diamonds.”