Advert banned instead of programme

THE advert for Channel Four’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is offensive, but the programme is not, it has been decided.

The people in charge of standards said that an advert with the slogan ‘Bigger. Fatter. Gypsier’ must be banned even though it summarises the only three possible reasons why people are watching.

A spokesman for standards said: “Gypsies can be as big and fat and gypsy as science can make them. But we must not point that out.

“The programme must be discovered by accident and then kept secret.

“Adverts such as this exploit cruel and damaging stereotypes, unlike the secret television programme which, I believe, is narrated by Melvyn Bragg.”

The advert will now be replaced with a big, fat gypsy girl arriving at her wedding with the slogan ‘To the Manor Born, starring Penelope Keith’.

Martin Bishop, from Hatfield, said: “I would have banned it for coining the word ‘gypsier’.

“That is the work of a fucker.”

 

 

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Ed Miliband 'went to Grange Hill'

LABOUR leader Ed Miliband attended the archetypal TV comprehensive Grange Hill, it has emerged.

Speaking at the Labour Party conference, Miliband recalled his friendship with Gonch and Hollo, as well as Zammo’s sad descent into heroin addiction.

He said: “Zammo was a good guy – Mr Bronson was way too tough on him, that’s why he turned to gear.

“My abiding memory is of fork-skewered sausages hovering around the refectory in an ambiguous manner.”