THE battle between Sunak and Truss is frequently compared to 2004 movie Alien vs Predator, and is just as shit.
Test your knowledge of total bollocks by guessing whether the following quotes are from former chancellor Sunak, future prime minister Truss or a piece of action bullshit that made everyone watching it measurably less intelligent. It won’t be easy:
1 ‘I don’t like pizza, I love it. I am prepared to do literally anything to get my hands on a slice.’
2 ‘It’s common in ritual sacrifice to take the heart of the victim.’
3 ‘We rise to challenges, we will meet them, we’re well prepared for them, we’ll get through them and we’ll emerge on the other side stronger.’
4 ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend.’
5 ‘When I lead my team, I don’t leave my team.’
6 ‘There can be no lasting prosperity for our people if we do not protect our planet.’
7 ‘We import two-thirds of our cheese. That is a disgrace.’
8 ‘If I do feel scared, I deliberately challenge myself not to feel scared.’
9 ‘We do not have the luxury of quitting.’
10 ‘We’re in the middle of a war – it’s time to pick a side.’
11 ‘I’m not going to stick to the failed plans of the past, I’m going to do something radically different.’
12 ‘I hate rodents.’
13 ‘I think this is a manhood ritual.’
14 ‘I like to get my own way, let’s put it like that.’
15 ‘I went to China and they told me there was only one type of potato available there.’
16 ‘You want a piece of me, you ugly son of a bitch?’
If you thought the clinically deranged quotes at 1, 7, 8, 12, 12, 14 and 15 were Liz Truss, you’re correct.
If you thought the pompous first-victim-of-the-alien quotes at 3, 6 and 11 were Sunak, you’re right.
If you were able to discern tough-talking Tory rhetoric from action movie dialogue and spotted 2, 4, 5, 9, 10, 13 and 16 from Alien vs Predator, well done.
If you think the interchangability of the above means we’re all f**ked, you are also correct.