WITH Jodie Whittaker handing in her notice, there’s a Time Lord-shaped vacancy on Doctor Who. But are you infuriatingly eccentric enough to fly the Tardis? Find out with our quiz.
What do you wear?
A) Usually something simple like jeans and a t-shirt, but for the last year I’ve barely been bothered to put on trousers.
B) A long flowing coat that I tell people was gifted to me by Napoleon. In reality I found it in a TK Maxx bargain bin.
Something exciting happens, how do you react?
A) Say ‘f**k me’ then try to take a picture of it on my phone.
B) Breathlessly spout some clunkily-written exposition about how it reminds me of one of my previous adventures.
Uh oh, this door’s locked. What now?
A) Politely give it a knock and wait to see if anyone answers.
B) Frantically point my sonic screwdriver toy at the door while my friends look on with embarrassed concern. Let’s hope it’s not made of wood, hahahahahahaha.
Do you have a catchphrase?
A) No, I’m a self-respecting adult. Unless ‘same again, barman’ counts.
B) Several. When something goes well I scream ‘Amazeballs!’ and when I’m dumped I whimper ‘why does this keep happening?’
Got any enemies?
A) My landlord is a bit of a dick, but I’m my own worst enemy most of the time.
B) A fellow Time Lord who keeps taunting me in a camp fashion.
Mostly As: Sorry, you seem like a down-to-earth person who probably doesn’t even have a silly haircut. Unless the BBC takes the show down a dark and gritty route, you haven’t got a hope in hell.
Mostly Bs: You sound as achingly unconventional as Timmy Mallet and probably look just as bloody ridiculous. When can you start?