SIR David Attenborough has admitted using CGI in his latest nature series because the earth is actually now just a giant industrial anus.
Attenborough has created a beautiful planet earth for fear that the reality of rats in car parks drinking from a can of Fanta might be ‘depressing’.
Attenborough said: “If George RR Martin decided to say ‘actually magic is bollocks’ the next series of Game of Thrones would be shit.
“With the help of CGI Dynasties will show nature as an uplifting unspoiled wilderness and with the cheeky addition of a dolphin with six fantastic tits.
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I honestly think it’s better than Bake-Off, which is also CGI.”
Attenborough added: “You couldn’t create something as weird and creepy as Paul Hollywood without special effects.”