BBC stars should be paid between no more than £38,000, confirm licence payers

TOP BBC stars should be earning between £25,000 and £38,000 a year, on a sliding scale, licence payers have agreed.

As the broadcaster reveals the pay of stars earning more than £150,000 a year, Britain has backed a maximum pay level of about a quarter of that for jobs that mostly involve reading out things that have been written by someone else.

Licence payer Tom Logan said: “That is plenty, especially for a job where you’re working one or two hour-long shifts, and some of those only once a week.

“Why does Graham Norton need that kind of money when all he’s doing is chatting with the likes of Emma Watson and Matthew McConaughey? My 14-year-old daughter would do it for free. And be less obsequious.

“Gary Lineker is just talking about football with other football people. Does it really matter who is actually doing it? People watch Match of the Day for the football not the people talking about the football.

“Plus, he has all that crisp money anyway.”

Logan added: “Radio stars should be on 25K maximum. They just read stuff straight off a piece of paper. For all I know they’re just sitting at home in their pants and doing it all on Skype.”

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Man working late to avoid dinnertime with his children

A FATHER of three has admitted to deliberately staying late in the office so he will not have to endure the utter hell of eating dinner with his family.

Tom Logan often works until after 7pm because his normally adorable children turn into ‘complete arseholes’ during meal times.

Logan said: “My three-year-old once screamed for 30 minutes because his peas were too green.

“My two-year old actually threw her fish fingers on the floor then cried because her fish fingers were on the floor.

“Meanwhile, the baby will spit disgusting orange slop everywhere and then my wife will finally lose her shit.

“Fortunately, by the time I get home it has all calmed down nicely and I get to enjoy my food in peace.”

Tom’s wife, Judith said: “If that bastard works late again tonight I will cut his balls off.”