THE producers of Big Brother have once again resisted calls to introduce humans into the house, sticking with the all-vegetable format for the ninth year in a row.
As the latest Channel 4 series kicks off, executive producer Wayne Hayes said: "I think last year people were shocked when we put a cauliflower and a tomato in the same room.
"The attraction was instant, it was just a shame the cauliflower turned out to be such an appalling racist."
He added: "It's a fantastic group this year. Let's hope they all manage to stay away from the goat."
The Big Brother vegetables 2008:
CARROT
Fitness instructor by day, special constable by night. Loves fine, crumbly soil. Hates rabbits, immigrants and parsley. Extremely orange.
BROCOLLI
A fun loving vegetable with a degree in para-psychology. Describes herself as a good listener who makes friends easily even though she is just some broccoli.
ONION
The first ever onion in the Big Brother house. Hopes to raise awareness of onions and onion related issues. Store in a cool, dry place inside some old tights.
POTATO
The most hideously misshapen of this year's vegetables. Earns 'good money' as an Andrew Lloyd Webber look-a-like. Sensitive about his green bits.
Incredibly gay.
CHIVES
Upper class and arty. Describes herself as a "creative free spirit who drinks vodka by the pint". Chop her up with scissors over a bowl of soup.
PARSLEY
A popular aromatic herb used throughout Europe and Asia. Writes his own songs and goes great with cod. Hates immigrants and carrots.
ARTICHOKE
This year's lesbian vegetable is a trainee nurse with a pierced tongue and a tattoo of Beelzebub. Tough on the outside, absolutely disgusting on the inside.
COURGETTE
Mysterious, aloof and erotically charged. Likely to have carrot and parsley competing for her attention. Has been known to dramatically transform a frittata.
