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Billie Piper already dad's favourite Doctor Who

BEAUTIFUL blonde Billie Piper has immediately become a dad’s most beloved incarnation of the Doctor, he has confirmed.

Despite only appearing on screen for a couple of seconds and saying one line, Piper has already overtaken previous favourites Tom Baker and Peter Capaldi in the estimations of Whovian father Bill McKay, aged 56.

Rewatching Piper’s introduction for a sixth time, McKay said: “Everyone has their Doctor. Mine just happens to be a stunning woman of a similar age to me.

“She was a natural choice as a companion – you want someone torn away from everything they know by a charismatic, unpredictable megalomaniac with unfathomable resources, hire the girl who married Chris Evans at 18 – and she’ll be an even better Doctor now she’s matured.

“How did Rose Tyler become a Time Lord? Will her costume be sexy in a classy way? Combining, perhaps, the underwear of a Victorian harlot with the day-glo miniskirt of a 1960s libertine? I’ve done some sketches.

“Simply by not having appeared since 2010 and dodging annoying overused catchphrases or convoluted storylines she’s well ahead. And now when she needs information instead of overusing the sonic screwdriver she can go undercover in a Metebilis IV strip club.

He added: “Fingers crossed this isn’t just misleading stunt casting. That would look like the show’s in its death throes desperately trying anything to win its viewers back.”

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'Cool' teacher actually fully grown adult seeking approval of 15-year-olds

A TEACHER recognised by his pupils as ‘cool’ is actually a 28-year-old man desperate to be popular with children, it has emerged. 

Julian Cook, a biology teacher at a Sheffield secondary school, has cultivated a reputation for being ‘dank’ by wearing trainers, gossiping about other staff and sharing anecdotes about ‘vomming’ during his Freshers Week ten long years ago.

15-year-old Jordan Gardner said: “Cooky J – he asked us to call him that – is a proper legend.

“Other teachers are all ‘where’s your coursework?’ but J sits in front of the desk, in a chair he’s spun around the wrong way, talking about Sabrina Carpenter, scrolling TikTok in class and moaning about living with his parents. He’s so relatable.

“Other teachers, it’s like they don’t care what we think of them. Cooky takes a real interest in our lives, running the Warhammer club and telling us what pub he drinks in so we can have a drink with him once we’re 18.

“He’s definitely the coolest teacher in the school. No wonder all the rest of the teachers are too intimidated to hang out with him.”

Cook said: “Yeah, they might not pass their GCSE because we’re hanging and talking smack. But I didn’t do well in exams and look at me now.”

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