Bono Defends Poor While Bathing At £3000 A Night Hotel

SPEAKING from the sunken bath of his four room suite in Cannes, U2 frontman Bono has condemned the West for failing to eradicate Third World poverty.

Many celebrities prefer to stay at the five-star Carlton Hotel in Cannes before making pronouncements on global poverty

Bono is in Cannes to launch U2's latest project, a 3D film of the group buying yachts in the Seychelles and then setting fire to them.

The DVD, priced £24.99, is expected to net the Dublin rockers more than £60 million worldwide.

Bono, who has been talking about poverty for more than 25 years, said: "As soon as I get out of this bath, have a massage with rare essential oils, eat some organic mango and set fire to a yacht, I'm gonna be knockin' on the White House door.

"And when GW answers I'm gonna say: 'Happy Birthday Mr President, there are 12 billion people right now not havin' another birthday'."

Later this year Bono will join Sting, George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for a summit on world poverty at the seven-star Burj-Al-Arab Hotel in Dubai.

But in true A-list fashion, the stars are already squabbling over who gets the room with the built-in waterfall.

Ula Okwami, a 38 year-old farmer from Chad, said: "Hang on a minute, I've had an idea. Call me a complete fruit-loop, but how about this?

"Instead of staying in a £3000 a night hotel, stay in a £1000 a night hotel and we'll use the change to buy goats and penicillin. Fuds."