Chris Evans loses the 500,000 people who actually listened to his show

THE audience for Chris Evans’ Radio 2 breakfast show has fallen by the exact number of people who paid to attention to it, it has emerged.

The latest figures revealed the audience dropped from 9.5m to the 9m people who really just have it on the background while they think about toast.

Former listener Martin Bishop, from Hatfield, said: “I used to just have it on the background. I quite liked some of the music. But then one day I sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and gave it a proper listen.

“Within 30 seconds I realised he was a gibbering nincompoop and that was that. Now I just stare out of the window until it’s time to go to work.”

Jane Thompson, from Finsbury Park, added: “I spent a week listening to it and by the Friday I noticed that I had become significantly less intelligent.

“At one point I actually found myself thinking ‘yeah, this guy’s definitely worth a couple of million a year’.”