Cinemas urged to show 'prayer advert' purely for its entertainment value

CINEMAS have been urged to screen a banned ‘advert for praying’ because it sounds like it might be weirdly entertaining.

The advert, ‘Just Pray’, features some people, including the Archbishop of Canterbury and a hipster on  a bus, quietly reciting the Lord’s Prayer before looking very chilled and groovy.

But it has been banned by leading cinema chains because they think audiences could be offended by it, possibly because of its total lack of CGI.

But Jane Thompson, from Stevenage, said: “It sounds incredibly silly, which does make me rather keen to see it.

“I promise I won’t find it offensive. However, we must remain open to the possibility that others may be offended by my reaction.”

Bill McKay, from Peterborough, added: “My only ‘concern’ is that I’ll miss most of it because I’ll be giggling like a nincompoop.”

McKay also wanted to know ‘if there are any nuns in it’.

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Daily Mail exactly the same in parallel universe where Nazis won

THE Daily Mail in an alternate universe where Hitler won the war is absolutely identical, it has been confirmed.

Scientists created a window into another dimension to view the newspaper, in the hope of gaining insight into how history had developed differently, but instead it was just the Daily Mail.

Professor Helen Archer said: “At first we were appalled by the nightmarish world of deep-seated paranoia, hatred of everyone and unwavering faith in war as the solution to everything, then we realised how familiar it seemed.

“Page for page, comma for comma, not a single difference. The British monarchy are likely a puppet regime installed as a smokescreen for Nazi despots, but you’d never know it from the Mail. 

“One researcher believed he’d detected a sinister undercurrent of Aryan supremacy in the depiction of the Kardashians, but it turned out he’d been looking at the one from our universe by mistake.

“We’re working on a new theory which posits that the single constant in an infinity of parallel universes is that the Daily Mail is just as vile in all of them.”