Woman doesn’t have to watch weight because everyone else does it for her

A WOMAN has abandoned watching her weight because her mother, boyfriend and work colleagues already have it covered.

32-year-old sales manager Carolyn Ryan receives updates on her weight so frequently from friends, family and complete strangers on the street, she has decided to hand them the job permanently.

She continued: “Maybe they could get together and have some kind of weight watchers meeting, where they talk about that Club biscuit I had on Monday morning or my insistence on drinking full-fat milk.

“I won’t go – I’d be absolutely bored shitless – but it seems to be a subject of endless fascination for everyone else so knock yourselves out.”

Colleague Joanna Kramer said: “I’ve triangulated with her boyfriend and her sister, and she definitely had three Tunnock’s Teacakes at the weekend, which could result in a gain of up to an ounce.

“This is priceless information. I’ve entered it into the database.”