Crowd at prog rock gig unsure when to applaud

THE crowd at a ‘prog rock’ gig had no idea when to applaud as they could never be sure the song had finished.

It is believed the band, Brother Monkey Bandit, played four songs in the 90 minute performance, including long periods of random noises that many assumed to be the musicians testing their instruments.

Audience member Tom Booker said: “I started applauding at one point and then some of the people around me started applauding.

“Then the band got going again, like the song was only just starting. That happened twice more before it seemed to finish.”

He added: “I think it may have had a chorus.”

Amid the confusion, the band’s lead singer, Julian Cook, told the crowd: “If it’s any consolation, we don’t know either.”

Cook then received rapturous applause as the band launched into a 29-minute cover version of The Carpenters, We’ve Only Just Begun.

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Girlfriend annexes final item of boyfriend’s clothing

A GIRLFRIEND has completed the process of annexing every item of her boyfriend’s wardrobe.

Tom Logan, who has been seeing Nikki Hollis for four months, revealed the appropriation of his clothing began in the third week of the relationship.

He said: “She took one of my t-shirts to sleep in. Which I didn’t mind really, because it was quite sexy. Over the next two weeks she took the rest.

“Then it was my hoodies and jumpers, in case she ‘got cold’. Then it was my hat, just because she likes it.

“Then it was my running shorts because she didn’t have any of her own.

“Then it was all of my jeans, my shirts and my boxer shorts. She says she needs the boxer shorts ‘in case of emergencies’. What does that mean?”

Hollis said: “I’m dumping him tomorrow. My work here is done.”