A VETERAN of Britain’s bloody culture wars is holding a two minutes’ silence for the TV shows which fell to the onslaughts of the woke.
Martin Bishop, aged 58, served on the frontlines of the culture war from 2018 to the present day by sitting on his sofa scrolling Twitter, and today is taking time to remember all the badly dated TV that did not survive the conflict.
He said: “Little Britain, Jonah From Tonga and On The Buses were more than just television programmes to me. They were my brothers.
“They were what kept me strong. When I couldn’t summon the courage to wade into another comments section, armed only with erroneous facts and native prejudice, I’d look at a photo of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum I kept in a locket and soldier on.
“My heart hurts for what we’ve lost, our children growing up in a world without Love Thy Neighbour or Mind Your Language. Sure, they’re on Britbox, but they’ve been horribly butchered by cutting all the ‘offensive’ bits.
“So once a year veterans like me hold a silence where we remember Jim Davidson’s Big Break and pay our respects. Farewell, Granada’s The Comedians with Bernard Manning. We shall not see your like again.
Playing a haunting rendition of The Benny Hill Show theme on a bugle, he added: “We must never forget. Though personally I thought The Black & White Minstrel Show was well dodgy.”