A MIDDLE-AGED man has again told his Home Alone-watching children that he would have given Kevin McCallister a ‘bloody good hiding’.
As is now tradition, Roy Hobbs and his kids sat down to rewatch the festive favorite while Hobbs said ‘These burglars are amateurs. They’re pulling their punches.’
He continued: “Hit me with a paint can you’re getting it next, I can tell you. Catch that bugger and swing it right back. Bam. Give him something to shout about.
“If I’d been there it’d be over inside 20 minutes. I’d have spotted he was on his own when I was casing the neighborhood. Seen through his bullshit, done the house that night.
“Kid can’t overpower two grown men. And Pesci, he’d have a temper on him. Used to do jobs with a fella like that, short, and they go f**king apeshit when you cross them. You’d never see Culkin again.”
Son Dylan Hobbs said: “Dad seems to know a lot about burglary and not flinching from violence when caught in the act. It’s worrying.
“Also when we watched The Grinch he was cheering ‘Go on, son, fill your boots’.”