SOMETIMES all it takes to terrify the public is to dab on a bit of corpse paint or blusher. As these otherwise harmless musicians proved.
David Bowie
The glam rocker thought wearing some lippy would make audiences think he was an alien and, judging by the ensuing panic, it actually worked. It’s worth keeping in mind that this was during a time when even a children’s book villain name like Ziggy Stardust was seen as on a par with the Antichrist. Yet even this looked tame compared to the hideous Benidorm tribute acts Aladdin Sane would eventually spawn.
Misfits
Tales of brain-eating zombies are scary, although the edge is taken off when it’s a little bloke who’s misted his eyes and gelled his hair into an icicle or a knob. Punk has long been about angsty posturing, but Danzig and co. looked like teenagers crashing their younger siblings’ Halloween party to get free snacks. Their home state wouldn’t truly become terrifying until the cast of Jersey Shore arrived.
KISS
Men in joke shop capes are hardly terrifying. However KISS wisely focused on Gene Simmons’s gross tongue and fake blood, despite the fact that the only work of the Devil he ever actually did was appearing on UK reality television. The other members daubed in stars and cute cat whiskers are now largely forgotten. If only society could remove KISS merchandise from landfills in the same way.
Siouxsie Sioux
As groundbreaking as she was, Siouxsie is to blame for gangs of teenagers loitering around CEX pretending to be vampires. Her bold, dark make-up was slightly more transgressive than Robert Smith looking like he’d taken a nap on an office desk after a big night out, but clearly the shock value of eyeliner wore off quickly as she decided that wearing swastika armbands was the best way to piss off the nation’s parents.
Arthur Brown
It’s fair enough to find clowns a little disconcerting, but a flaming helmet being put out by beer is something you often see when England reaches a Euro semi-final. Contemporary audiences would find these pyrotechnics somewhat predictable, especially if they accompany a song that’s literally called Fire. Meanwhile the rest of his ‘crazy’ stage antics would resemble little more than an open mic character comedian at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Slipknot
Only being known for your masks really takes the pressure off you when it comes to actually writing songs. Which is why you might not remember many Slipknot songs. There’s a fair bit of makeup going on too, but whether they’re actually scary is another matter. Still, it didn’t stop them becoming folk devils for more conventional and God-fearing folks; presumably the same people who helped popularise the feeble ‘evil clown’ scare of 2016.
