WITH no new Doctor Who on the horizon, its most loyal fans are free to resume their notoriously hedonistic lifestyles.
The BBC’s decision to put the show on hold means its fanbase can return to the all-night raves and sex parties they enjoyed before they got sidetracked by the 2005 revival.
Whovian Martin Bishop said: “Britain’s nightlife isn’t going to know what’s hit it, now that debauched hellraisers who know their Zarbi from their Zodin are back on the prowl.
“Just because we’ve spent the last 20 years having heated debates about River Song and the Fugitive Doctor on Gallifrey Base doesn’t mean we’ve lost our edge. We’re still just as cool as when the Tenth Doctor killed the gaseous alien parasites in The Family of Blood.
“In fact I’d advise non-fans to stay home for a couple of months. We’ve got a lot of feelings about how The Reality War ended that we need to get out of our system. It’s going to be messy.”
Fellow devotee Tom Booker said: “Remember when lad culture was rampant in the late 1990s and early 2000s? That’s because we weren’t distracted by blurry leaked photos of the new Tardis interior.
“Society’s going back to that until there’s a new series. So lock up your daughters, we’re going to be shagging and boozing like Premier League footballers until the return of the Silurians.”
